The Major is on a ship. Vessels as large as Elegante are ships.
Canon information Edit
There are robots and they are cops and they kill shit and ponder the nature of self and society. And explain things to each other. At length. Sometimes for entire episodes. Explaining things is the second most common activity in the future, after violence, and just before existential angst.
There is also unresolved sexual tension, because no one is allowed to be happy, ever.
In the absence of any useful mayhem to create and after having resolved the sexual tension with her partner (and reduced a bed) into a smoldering heap of twisted wreckage, she spends most of her time jerking Batou around until he gets fed up enough to complain.
And reading your mail.
Timeline NOTE TO SELF: Troll Remy for threadsEdit
February 09 Edit
- 7th: 001. Arrival. There is confusion. Batou thinks it's been months since they last saw each other, and anyway she was some kind of weird transhuman disembodied intelligence at the time. She thinks it's been about two hours.
BawwwingHilarity ensues. Celeste and River are dismayed, because Batou's spent his entire time aboard hinting at his creepy level of devotion to her.
- 9th: 002. Intimations. She picks up her existential angst where she left off. This intrigues Ace and Remy, gets Celeste and River's attention again, and marks her first contact with Erol, who is delighted* to make her acquaintance.
*not delighted in the slightest
- 15th: 003. Equanimity. First encounter with Ocarina of Time Link and Akagi, more creepytiems with River, meeting Erol in person, and hanging out with Batou.
- 16th: The Cat, the Crane, and the Hound. Batou takes her on a
datemission to go fuck with Erol. A good time is had by most.
- 18th: 004. Statecraft. The usual suspects, minus Batou, appear. Akagi calls her "Auntie" for the first time.
- 26th: 005. Self. More of the usual suspects. Also Ki and Lain. The Major attempts to explain cybernetics to someone from the Bronze Age.
- 1st: 006. Forensics. Team Stupid Teenager having failed to blow up the elevators in an attempt to return to Emeraudes, the Major investigates the crime scene. There is a nice long talk with Dexter, Akagi managing to implicate himself, and some unresolved sexual tension with coworkers.
- 4th: 007. Reality. Philosophical wankery and unresolved sexual tension with coworkers
are you detecting a theme here.
- Ace is drunk. She humors him.
- ROBOT PR0NZ. Kuruma can no longer use the "unresolved sexual tension with coworkers" tag.
- 11th: 008. Memory. Fourth Wall Day leaves a blank in people's memories. This is relevant to the Major's interests. Also relevant to the Major's interests is avoiding Batou, because she has the emotional maturity of a middle-schooler. She has lunch with B. Mmm, dericious rare earths. He gives her some not-really-applicable advice.
- 14th: Busted. Batou's ever-so-slight edge in the emotional competence department, or his unbelievably high bullshit tolerance with regard to her allow them to patch things up.
- 15th: 009. Assassination. The Ides of March triggers some woolgathering. The cyborgs decide to lobotomize Erol for being a wifebeater, which never happens because it squicks Kuruma too hard.
- 18th: Wishes. She and Ace fence some more.
- 20th: Celeste reset. The Major is less of a creeper than usual.
- 21st: 010. Traps. Cynicism, and failure to obtain gunpowder. She uses the "time of month" joke on Remy, because it stopped working on Batou years ago.
- Hacking lessons. She teaches Akagi more about locking the comms.
- 23rd: 011. Hacking. The Major informs everyone there's no reason to believe the crew can't read locked posts, and gives what for her is a very clear warning that she is reading your mail. The crew pops up in comments to protest too much.
- 24th: Handcuff event. The Major and Erol spend three days in close proximity. Erol leaves alive.
- 26th: 012. "Hypothetical". Taunting Erol during the handcuff event.
- 30th: 013. Intelligence. The Major makes a post about categorization of intelligence that all of three people on the boat understand, two of them being her and Batou. She and Akagi make plans to rig the slots later.
- 1st: 014. Gambling. She disassembles and then rigs a slot machine while Akagi watches. The slots are frog-powered. Also, she tests how well Erol's been teaching Akagi how to fight. (Verdict: Erol gets to live.)
- 3rd: 015. Violence. The ReDead pirate event begins. Violence is a cyborg aphrodisiac.
- O god of battles, steel my soldiers' hearts. The Major coordinates the passengers who want to fight back.
- 4th:BLARG I AM DED. To save Erol, of all people, the Major stops Meifeng's bullet with her head. Batou is Not Happy and Acts Out.
- 6th: 016. Awakening. The system works. The Major bitches Batou out for snapping and cornering Torn and Erol in a room all day, but decides she's not going to lead the resistance anymore, because it's accomplishing nothing.
- 14th: 017. Odyssey. With nothing better to do, she makes some pointed remarks over the comms.
- 20th: Discussing visual hacks. Batou and the Major are disinclined to believe their eyes.
- 21st: Meeting Eon. Eon is terrible at hiding the fact that she's a girl.
- 22nd: 018. Police. Woolgathering about her job.
- 27th: Class consciousness. The cyborgs are class traitors. They don't seem to care.
- 29th: 019. Shōwa. Japan is the center of the world. Akagi and the Major disagree about the date, and she mochi-blocks him.
- 9th: 020. Learning. She does some camouflaged bawwwing about having been cyberized as a child, and no one but Batou gets it. They trash the gym sparring, discuss how Batou is so straight he can't even see gay from where he lives, and then screw.
- 14th: Cyborgs and undead. Cyborgs and zombies are more similar than it might seem at first glance.
- 23rd: 021. Hobbies. Idle chatter about hobbies, and sparring with Momotaros.
- Illusions. She meets Ace in person for the first time, and they learn a few things about each other.
- 28th: A cyborg who goes diving in her spare time. A log that was supposed to be dysfunctional robot angst turns into failboat weirdness. The Major punches a giant fish.
- 30th: Mutiny! The secret to getting a lot of tags? Show up naked.
- 2nd Floor. Creepy tank full of bodies.
- 4th Floor The crew doesn't like the blue stuff.
- 6th Floor Methanelopes! And then busted.
- 1st: Lover's quarrel. The cyborgs have a spirited discussion in which the buffet is trashed and Batou puts his foot down about just how much of a doormat he's willing to be.
- 3rd: The path of true love never did run smooth. She and Ace get drunk and compare notes on boyfriends.
- 6th: 022. Avoidance. Certain emotionally immature cyborgs realize they may have been sulking when they roll the counter over in a handheld Tetris game. Ace pwns her in comments and she realizes she needs to get her head on straight.
- 11th: Buddy Time. The cyborgs desperately need therapy. Just not from Guy.
- 18th: Stolen kisses. In which Ace narrowly avoids dying due to the compulsions from the Kuma-Ko food.
- 19th: Nice try, Celeste. Sneaking up on the Major is inadvisable, if not outright impossible.
- 21st: 023. Epidemiology. Trying to figure out what caused all the strange tics. The source is not identified. Nothing happens with Erol because the muns can't get their shit together.
- 26th: Getting Akagi's goat. Literally. She runs the little goat-stoner down and takes his goat away. ...Elegante events are weird.
- 1st: 024. Professionalism. Wade attempts to take Lily hostage. This goes about as well as you would expect, and the Major decides to twist the knife. A commentlog with Remy triggers memories of her past, which she of course takes out on Batou.
- 5th: 025. Warning. The Major warns Zelda about Erol's sociopathy.
- 6th: Returning Herz's boots. And giving him advice, creepy combat cyborg-style.
- 7th: Debriefing. Because you know what Herz needs after going through the emotional wringer? An interrogation.
- 17th: Baby event. Possibly the most effective cockblock in the history of cockblocks.
- 19th: 026. Exasperation. The Major is not good with children. Fortunately for Ace's health, he is. They discuss things of a boat-y nature.
- 22nd: 027. Medevac. She finds Herz in a pool of his own blood and carries him to the clinic. Accusing Erol over the comms sets the cat among the chickens.
- 24th: 028. Borgias. Kicking Praxis square in the nuts.
- 26th: Toga party. Establishing proper pack relationships with Thom and Chase, and hanging out with Batou. It should be noted that the Major does not deign to wear a fake toga made of bedsheets.
- 27th: Stolen plans. I'm sure there's a Star Wars joke in here, but it's not coming to me. Zelda fails Infosec 101 and the Major takes over.
- 029. Preparations. Leaving some things with a friend. (backdated)
- Information Warfare and Dirty Tricks. Showdown with Meth, who becomes the second person in Ele to drop Kusanagi, for all the good it actually did her. (backdated)
- 028. Chaff. "Accidental" audio post of the meetup. (backdated)
- 6th: 031. Hiroshima. Japan has a complex about nukes. Ace now knows more about Kusanagi's past than anyone aboard but Batou.
- 8th: Meet Asad. The Major's milkshake brings all the smart, confident men with issues to the yard.
- 11th: Parting gifts. Russ is dead in Carnival and Ace wants company.
- 12th: 032. Trust. The Major would like the passengers to stop being so fucking gullible.
- 13th: Weed killer. Revenge is a bit anti-climactic when traveling with a magician and a combat cyborg.
- 17th: Babysitter. Ace calls in a favor, and the stage is set for his epic fuckup.
- 20th: Ace is out, and the aftermath begins.
- 24th: Dysfunctional robot relationship, and a threadjack, just in case there was someone somewhere on the ship in a coma who wasn't clear on how that relationship worked.
- 26th: 033. Command. She explains why she didn't help the passengers take out Shayn and Asad. Sort of. This is as close to a "straightforward explanation" as she's ever likely to give for anything. Also, Ace is off the hook after some squirming.
- 28th: Russ isn't dead. LOL unintentional foreshadowing.
- Anniversary Event
- 9th: 034. Childhood
- End of Anniversary Event
- 4th: 039. Glitch
- 17th: 040. Annoyance
- 24th: 041. Noise
- 26th: The Business He Works In. Batou on the intelligence business.
- 10th: 042. Disappearance
- 14th: Tachikoma. Guess who's here?
- 17th: Heropsychodreamer. Jak snaps and the Major takes him down, but not before he damages her shell. Then Redd shows up after letting someone else do all the work. Typical.
- Whee flowers! Talking to the chirpy blue tank again.
- Godlike. She gets around to mentioning to Batou that her shell is damaged. Y'know, after he corners her.
- 23rd: 043. Incense
Batou: On-again, off-again boyfriend. Mostly on-again, at least as far as the sex is concerned. She'll deny the "boyfriend" part, possibly with violence.
Akagi: Shitty adopted nephew.
Erol: Rabies-ridden shelter dog that everyone forgets to feed.
Remy: Token biological friend.
Actual relationships list. Not all that much more serious than this one.
Other Stuff Edit
- More self-awareness than either of the cyborgs will ever display.
- P and Kuruma have created a horrible Frankensteinian mess by ramming Standalone Complex canon into movie/novel canon, but it shouldn't be a problem unless someone tries to app another GitS character.
|Blu = talented|
Batou = hot
Shousa: ...It looks girly (onnappoi).
You mean erotic (iroppoi)? :>
Shousa: ..."Erotic," you say?
- The Major tops God:
And Mari made it so:
The fun part? She's not even pissed off in the scene that icon's from. That is her normal expression.
Now you know why Batou is the way he is.
- Career goals: