So gay he can't even think straight.
None that he won't hurt you for.
31 (canon) / 32 (elegante)
2388 (Deck 11)
Jak and Daxter
...People talk about “flaming” and “fruity” when they don’t feel like speaking up. But this is Kras City’s legendary Razer, and for him you'd better tweak the issue a bit. Let's say, oh...a fruit basket flung into the sun. -- Weiila's "The Diplomat"
- Razer is listed as the top lieutenant to Mizo, his world's most powerful crime boss, and known as the greatest racer in his hometown of Kras City. It isn't known how long he's been working the criminal overworld, but judging by his rank it's presumable he's been at it for a number of years. His first love, however, is and will likely always be racing, although until quite recently he was retired and working exclusively in the criminal business. The reasons for his retirement are unknown, but given his age, skill, and personality, it was more than likely due to massive boredom with the underwhelming competition.
- Just a few weeks before his impromptu relocation, Razer returned to active racing in an attempt to kick Jak's ass. He also failed. Not hardcore, mind you, it was close, but a failure is a failure and requires punishment of some form or another. Canonically he disappears following his defeat, leaving it unclear as to whether he simply went back into retirement after the Blue Eco Cup or got himself killed somehow, either by an opponent on the track or by his own employer, who did drop a rather specific (if seemingly innocuous) threat during one very public interview.
- A bit of a perfectionist and a big fan of breaking things, Razer is a walking contradiction in terms. He's also a homotastic douchebag who probably wants to sleep with your brother. And maybe your father, he's not picky about ages. He hates failing at anything, thrives on attention, loves to make people angry and will fuck your shit up if you ever call him a fag. He's also an absolute spoiled brat who will do pretty much whatever it takes to get his way. Eh, that's what happens when you grow up in Kras.
- Razer is the kind of man who enjoys the finer things in life as much as he likes breaking them into little tiny pieces. He is not, however, the amoral psychopath that his Havenite counterpart, Erol, so clearly is. Razer is a gentleman; smooth, educated, as well-spoken as he is dressed, and unlike many people in his business he has retained a couple points of distorted moral high ground. First, he doesn't approve of cheating in races, or anywhere it can be avoided. The reasoning behind this is rather arrogant (he's too good to have to cheat in most cases and he knows it) but it's accurate enough that there really isn't much anyone can say about it. Secondly, he finds things like rape to be extremely distasteful--the big question is just what his definition of "rape" is. Of course Razer has slept with more than his fair share of barely-willing partners, it's the "barely" that makes it all right. His idea of consent is extremely twisted, and he would be happy to explain it if anyone were to ask. Yes, this is hypocritical. No, he doesn't care.
- Anything else he'll do, and probably has done more than once. He's been in this business a very long time.
- Razer is one of the taller characters in his series, topping out somewhere between 6'2" and 6'4" (he's listed as being 6'2" in his in-game profile, but the height difference between him and other characters makes it obvious that this is slightly off), with a muscular build to match. His skin is extremely pale, his hair is jet black and his eyes are bright green; canonically the only actual skin you ever see on him is from the neck up, the rest being completely concealed by his very stylish clothing. He also has freaking enormous ears, if anyone was wondering.
- Considering he's a high-ranking member of Mizo's gang, it's generally assumed that he does have some ink somewhere on his body. In line with this, the version featured on the Elegante has a red-on-black flame tattoo from his wrist to his elbow on either arm. These are usually covered with his jacket and gloves, considering they ruin the air of absolute perfection Razer takes such great pride in, but as Razer has pretty much relinquished his jacket to Lily in a nice bit of manipulation, he's been showing off the tattoos for a while now. He still remains one of the most fashionable people in the multiverse, and don't you forget it.
- As of February 2010, Razer's left tattoo has been carved off, and there's a strip missing from on the underside of his wrist on the right. The left is scarred in a pattern following the original outline of the tattoo, but it fades into normal skin where AMU eventually applied grafts.
- Erol: ( + + + + + ) Razer's Havenite counterpart, and the only person he's met in his life who Gets It. They compliment each other perfectly, and Razer completely adores Erol in ways that he'll never be comfortable describing aloud. To put it simply, Razer is madly in love with Erol. To put it less simply...would take up this entire page. Disturbingly, the feeling is entirely mutual. These two are dangerous apart, together they have the opportunity to wreak some serious havoc.
- Jak: ( + + / - - ) Beat Razer in the Blue Eco Grand Prix, but is still one fine piece of ass. Technically the game is over, and even though Jak killed him he still considers himself to be the winner. Now that he doesn't have to pretend, playing with Jak is going to be...interesting.
- Keira Hagai: ( - - - / + ) Annoying mechanic woman thing. The mechanic part is cool! The rest, less so.
- Ashelin Praxis: ( - - - / + ) Stupid bitch, but a decent racer. It pains Razer to admit this. Razer is positive that Ashelin is not as smart as she thinks she is, and considering she's younger on the boat than he knew her as she may be more prone to manipulation. He likes to rile her up for fun.
- Phoenix: ( + + + + ) Appears to be the younger brother Razer never knew he had. Razer finds him very attractive, for obvious reasons, and honesty likes him. He's a good guy, Razer can tell, but there's this vindictive edge that he really wishes he had leave to openly appreciate. Later.
- Daxter: ( - - - - ) Annoying rat thing. Tells a good story, but is too loud to get many points for it. When Jak was under the impression that Ace had killed Daxter, Razer was sincerely amused. He was also disappointed to find this wasn't true. They just don't get along.
- Torn: ( - - - - ) They don't have a relationship, really, beyond Razer thinking he's kind of hot and serves as good button-pushing material with Ashelin.
- Damas: ( + + / - - ) Razer likes Damas. Lots. This isn't a good thing. He's a relative of Jak, which makes him interesting to start with, but there's just something about being able to leave a king almost speechless that's absolutely intoxicating. He'll keep this one.
- Kleiver: ( + + / - - ) Ugly, quite possibly stupid, but actually not on Razer's dislike list. If anything, he has a slightly-less-than-grudging respect for the guy, simply because he knows his racing is good and that's the best way to do well by Razer.
Baron Praxis: ( + / - - - ) Erol's "leash-holder." Though Razer's never spoken to him, his opinion of the Baron is that he's too stiff and needs to let Erol off his leash altogether now and then. Good taste in tattoos, though, and he deserves a lot of respect for holding Haven in his thrall for so long.NO LONGER ON THE BOAT. GT Blitz: ( + + + / - ) Secretly Razer's boss, Mizo. Razer has an insane amount of respect for this man, and is also more than a little scared of him. He does know how to spin things just right to stay out of trouble, for the most part, and is well-aware that he's always been Mizo's favorite, so he pushes the envelope with him a little more than a man in his position should. He usually refers to Mizo as his "leash-holder," making Blitz the Praxis to his Erol. Oh, and for the record he's also slept with the guy at least twice, and it was awesome at the time. At this point, he really couldn't care less.ALSO OFF THE BOAT BAWW.
Other Characters Edit
- Fred Cassidy: Not really helpful, but not annoying yet. He gets the neutral stamp.
- Mimmi Kopanski: Almost entirely unhelpful.
- Lily: Crazy little girl with a habit of screaming like a crazy little girl. Informationally useful and oddly endearing. Connected to a great deal of the people on the ship, she's good for networking and Razer fully intends to take advantage of this little quirk however possible.
- Zelda/Sheik: Sucks at poetry. Needs to accept this. Fun to mess with, though.
- Amaria Midesha: Healer, apparently, could be useful later. Neutral stamp.
- Karis Needleteeth: Freak with too little skin. Ohgod.
- Autonomous Medical Unit 92-XG-3: So much more interesting than UR-86.
- Christine Daae: Delusional, dense, and idealistic. Also young, naive, and a little bit stupid. Hilarious, in a way, but also rather pathetic.
- Salvador Rallo: Very much his age, inside and out, so he seems a little...excitable. Props for his thoughts on religion, though. Neutral.
- Pickles the Drummer: Too stupid to live.
- Ironhide: Has a boring homeworld and needs to admit it, but otherwise doesn't really register. Neutral.
- Slipstream: Cybertronians are droids too, stupid. Still, she seems okay. Neutral.
- Motoko Kusanagi: Impressive. Overbearing, but impressive. That's about it.
- Batou: Someday, Razer is going to kill him.
September 2009 Edit
- 14 • Arrival on the Elegante. [Threads with Ashelin, Fred, Rfena 1.0, Mimmi, Erol, Lily, Amaria and Jak.]
- 19 • You're boring and your ship is boring. [Threads with Shilo, Ashelin and Rfena 1.0]
- 19.1 • Messing with Princess Zelda.
- 21 • Erol sure knows how to leave a mark. [Threads with Mimmi, Ani, Amaria, Lily, Erol, Zelda, AMU and Karis.]
- 28 • Anyone want to trade something for a frog? [Threads with Zelda, Ani and Amaria.]
October 2009 Edit
- 07 • Wow your religions suck. [Threads with Christopher, Amaria, Mimmi, Karis, Kusanagi, Fred, Lika, Ironhide, Ace, Lenny, Jak and Sal.]
- 07.1 • Jakiverse religion is interesting.
- 09 • Someday he's just going to kill Pickles.
- 12 • Christine is delusional.
- 13 • Missing Shiv. [Threads with Kleiver, Zelda and Pickles.]
- 14 • ...Are you all right, Jak?
- 14.1 • Drinks at the Oceanview.
- 15 • Samuel is just the wrong kind of noble.
- 16 • Uh...hello, boss.
- 21 • Why on earth would Blitz need a warning?
- 23 • Talk about worlds, and why Razer's sucks. [Threads with Zelda, Erol, Ironhide, Sal, Ashelin and Blitz.]
- 23.1 • 1984 is totally about Praxis.
- 24 • Keeping up the act with Blitz.
- 25 • Erol accidentally makes Razer's life difficult.
- 26 • Welcoming Gan Ning to the Hellboat.
- 26.1 • Pickles is still too stupid to live.
- 28 • Time to use that frog. [Threads with Remy and Meth.]
- 29 • Razer finds his Halloween Event mask. [Threads with Blitz and Erol.]
- 30 • Yes, Slipstream, Razer's ears are totally proportional.
November 2009 Edit
- 01 • Time to be a bad influence on Jak.
- 02 • That was one interesting party... [Thread with Blitz.]
- 07 • CRASH.
- 07.1 • Covering up that whole caring thing. [Threads with Kage, Ironhide, Ashelin, Slipstream, AMU, Remy, Akagi, Pickles, Arbiter, Lily, Christine, Jak and Blitz.]
- 16 • More covering up. [Threads with Erol, Zelda, Blitz and Lily.]
- 18 • What did Jak do?
- 21 • Brig visits are only supposed to last three days, right? [Threads with Kusanagi, Zelda, Meifeng and Jak.]
- 23 • Christine visits Erol, Razer is unimpressed.
- 25 • Talk of Erol and concern for Jak. [Threads with Blitz and Jak.]
- 26 • Mizo has a meeting with Erol and Razer.
- 27 • Damn it, Praxis, he just fixed it.
- 27.1 • Calling out the Baron.
December 2009 Edit
(Holy crap december is BUSY.)
- 01 • You're still boring and your ship is still boring. [Threads with Lenny, Ashelin and Oleg.]
- 01.1 • Beating up Edward Cullen.
- 02 • This means Razer was right, right?
- 03 • Strike one! (It was so worth it.)
- 04 • Erol is off his leash.
- 04.1 • Celebrating the best way they know how. [18+]
- 05 • Precurians popping out of the woodwork.
- 05.1 • Everyone knows Torn and Ashe are screwing, wtf.
- 06 • Daxter killed someone? Really?
- 07 • Razer starts signing up other people for the racing tournament. [Threads with Phoenix, Zelda, Bryn, Lily, Odette, Ashelin and Karis.]
- 08 • Agreeing with the masses.
- 09 • Oh. Lovely. Keira.
- 10 • Blitz announces Razer's
- 12 • Welcoming Sulphur.
- 13 • Tachikomatic time.
- 14 • A friendly race with Jak.
- 14.1 • Daxter is still an idiot.
- 15 • Phoenix is a novice at everything.
- 18 • Everyone is a side character. [Threads with Zelda, The Heron, Odette, Ashelin, Daxter, Erol, Blitz and Jak.]
- 19 • Sheik is much too verbose.
- 22 • Welcoming Haseo.
- 24 • Christmas is overrated. [Thread with Ashelin.]
- 25 • Bumping into Rfena.
- 28 • Welcoming Maia Acheron.
- 28.1 • Phoenix, you sound like an idiot.
- 29 • Redd is clearly specist. [Threads with Ganondorf, Zelda, Remy and Phoenix.]
- 30 • Next she'll want a pony.
January 2010 Edit
- 01 • When is the tournament starting? [Thread with Lilith.]
- 02 • Enter Erik.
- 03 • How to upset Daxter in four easy steps.
- 03.1 • Shopping with Lilith.
- 04 • Frog questions with Jak.
- 06 • Talk of gifts with Phoenix.
- 07 • Question time! [Threads with Blitz and Mihaila.]
- 10 • Samuel's crazy is amusing.
- 11 • Aw, so she's dead?
- 14 • I know something you don't know. [Threads with Phoenix, Remy, King, and Ganondorf.]
- 19 • The Coup begins.
- 21 • It's like going mad. [Threads with Erol, Ashelin and Blitz.]
- 21.1 • Someone broke the boat?
- 26 • Want to watch a...movie? [Threads with Lily, Kusanagi, Michaelangelo, Erol, Leonardo, Ironhide, Remy, Rochelle, Ganondorf, Mikaela, Keira, and King.]
- 27 • Not an idiot, thank you.
- 27.1 • Batou is rightfully dubious.
- 31 • Party time.
- 31.1 • Drinking with Phoenix.
- 01 • The morning after. [Threads with Erol, Ashelin, Phoenix, Torn, Rothbart, Derek, Gippal, Karis, and Deacon.]
- 02 • Phoenix's goggles are stupid.
- 02.1 • Messing with Ashelin.
- 03 • Mizo's punishment. [Threads with Bryn, Phoenix, Erol and Rochelle.]
- 05 • Anyone good with tattoos? [Threads with Phoenix, Ironhide, Gippal, Zeke, and Lily.]
- 08 • Conversation and bandages.
- 13 • Why some plushies rock. [Threads with Gippal, Phoenix, and Jak.]
- 14 • Why some parties suck.
- 15 • Can I have my ears back now? [Threads wth Mimmi, Lily, Jak, Gippal, and Damas.]
- 16 • Skin grafts! [Thread with AMU and Erol.]
- 16.1 • I will not be an ottsel.
- 19 • Dropping bombs on Damas.
- 20 • Talk of unattainable wants.
- 20.1 • The jig is up. He just doesn't know it yet. [Third-party thread between Torn and Ashelin.]
- 21 • Hello, Jinx.
- 22 • Ashelin's diversion skills leave much to be desired.
- 25 • Taking down Ganondorf.
- 27 • Ganondorf's List.
- 28 • Out of the brig. [Threads with Erol, Karis and Phoenix.]
March 2010 Edit
- 01 • Never live it down.
- 02 • Visiting Jak.
- 03 • Do I even want to know?
- 05 • Age change. [Threads with Ganondorf, Mikaela, Keats, Daxter, and Lily.]
- 06 • King has a brain?
- 07 • Doctor Horrible? Really?
- 08 • Welcome to the ship!
- 09 • Playtime.
- 09.1 • Endgame. [18+]
- 11 • Totally worth it. [Threads with Erol, Phoenix, Lily, and Royston.]
- 14 • Buckles beat buttons.
- 14.1 • Thank you, Remy, for being self-absorbed.
- 15 • One week till Marmas. [Threads with Erol, Karis, Jinx, Damas, and Ashelin.]
- 16 • Took you long enough.
- 17 • Re: Ganondorf.
- 18 • Words of wisdom? To these people?
- 29 • "I think I miss birds." [Threads with Her Highness Zelda, Marco, Phoenix, Remy, Royston, Andrew, Azula, Jinx, and Erol.]
- 29.1 • Not blackmail, just curiosity.
- 31 • Such a tease.
- 01 • Sheik is an entitled moron.
- 03 • "Oh, you're very sharp."
- 03.1 • Because he's UNCONSCIOUS.
- 06 • Hearing voices. [Threads with Bumblebee, Mimmi, Jinx, and Azula.]
- 07 • Hunting voices. [Threads with Marco, Jinx, Azula, Lily, Zeke, Sokka, King, Toph, Karis, Kevas, Alita, Phoenix, Jazz, Xanth, and Ironhide.]
- 07.1 • Taking command.
- 08 • Mission accomplished.
- 08.1 • Ignore her.
- 09 • Does no one believe in actually acting anymore? [Threads with Remy and Kevas.]
- 11 • Beating up the children.
- 11.1 • Inside Nirvana.
- 12 • This is taking all night.
- 13 • Gippal's eyepatch.*
- 27 • Sunburns suck.
*AND THUS BEGAN NASHI'S SPREE OF SLOWATUSES.
- 3 • Isle des Saphir. [Threads with Marco, Toph, Remy, Erol, Michaelangelo, Gippal, Hit-Girl, Edward, and Tachikoma.]
- 24 • But their determination is so cute.
- 25 • Good job, idiots. [Threads with Marco, Azula, Ed and Sulphur.]
Links and StuffEditthumb|left|300px|This video contains everything you need to know.
And that is his entire canon. Enjoy.