P: Oh, roosters became slang for "cock" for a reason. They're just like "I'mma hump this."
P: "awww yeah."
Mari: I'mma hump this.
Mari: Awww yeah.
Mari: P ilu
Clo: tell the rooster juice story
Maddin: giggidy giggidy
Shei: do we want to hear this
Mari: rooster juice
Mari: tell me it's the name of like
Mari: an actual drink
P: okay. Okay, it is time for the Rooster Juice story.
Clo: I fucking love the RJ story
Maddin: story time!
P: Okay, Rooster Juice story.
Mari: ROOSTER JUICE
Tai: STORY TIME
Doc: /is interested
Mari: STORY TIEM WITH P
Tai: /sits on Mari and listens
Mari: 83 <3
Shei: /curls up by mari and big siiiis
Clo: chat goes quiet in anticipation
Mari: /cuddles Tai and Shei
P: So when I was younger I lived in the fucking sticks. Like, I mean, I lived in the middle of Goddamn nowhere. And there was this farm down the highway that I would often bike to, because the people that lived there paid me like a dollar to do things like open the sheep gate or collect the chicken eggs.
P: So one day the rooster is out of the cage and he is walking. He is walking and he is inspecting his territory.
P: ... what the fuck is this.
P: what the FUCK is this.
P: It is a GIANT FUCKOFF ROOSTER in HIS territory.
P: You probably would recognize this rooster if you saw it. It is a red VW bug.
P: So this rooster is not backing down. He has his HENS in that coop and he means to fuck every single one of this. This intruder will never sex up his ladies.
P: So he puffs himself up and crows. He fans out his feathers. He pecks the ground. He scratches the ground and shows his spurrs.
P: This is the biggest rival rooster he's ever seen. He gets so outraged that over the course of an hour this exhausted, enraged bird
P: goes up and pecks the tyres.
P: So the farmer goes and honks the horn and the rooster FREAKS OUT and shits itself. But not to be defeated, t comes out and challenges this rival to a fight.
P: the car does not respond, because it is a fucking car.
P: So over the course of the afternoon the rooster gets closer and closer, and eventually...
P: he mounts the car.
P: He mounts and FUCKS the car.
Froggy: ...HOW DOES A ROOSTER EVEN DO THAT
P: Crowing and screaming his triumph. He climbs on the back hood of the VW bug and humps away, he grinds, he scratches and moans and squeals. It was really pornographic.
P: This goes on until the farmer honks the horn again. The rooster
P: PECKS this defeated male.
P: Re-establishes his dominance with another good, hard fuck.
P: And then, exhausted, goes back to his ladies.
Tai: So the rooster is Chase Stein.
P: ... and that is the rooster juice story.
Mari: wait that was...Tai
Doc: ....THE END
Mari: Meth: *LAWL*
Clo: that is my favourite fucking story
Tai: /could not help herself sorry
Doc: i saw a red vw bug in town a few weeks ago. i thought it was hella tight too.
Mari: I will never look at red vw bugs the same
Mari: EVER AGAIN
Tai: ....Doc, y-your wording
Maddin: was it a new bug or an old bug?
Doc: what about it
Shei: gdlkgjdfg /dead
Mari: ...hella tight
Clo: /laughing at Doc's wording
Tai: "I thought it was hella tight too."
Mari: Doc is now a rooster.
Clo: it's like you tested that theory out
Doc: yeah what about it 8D
Shei: oh my god i love this chat
Mari: You are not doc
Mari: you are Rooster.
Mari: that is your failboat name
Doc: i have been here
Doc: like four hours
Tai: DOC ROOSTER
Tai: DOC COCK
Mari: no just Rooster.
Mari: oh god
Clo: DOC COCK
Clo: THERE WE HAVE IT
Mari: oh god
P: So yeah, this rooster experienced the best lay of his life. He defeated in bloody combat, a rooster a hundred times larger than him, and he got laid and then he sexed up all his ladies. It was the best day ever, the end.