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P: Oh, roosters became slang for "cock" for a reason. They're just like "I'mma hump this."

P: "awww yeah."

Mari: ahahahah

Tai: ffffff

Mari: I'mma hump this.

Mari: Awww yeah.

Mari: P ilu

Clo: tell the rooster juice story

Mari: ....

Mari: .....................

Mari: ...................................................

Maddin: giggidy giggidy

Shei: do we want to hear this

Clo: yes

Mari: rooster juice

Maddin: yes

Mari: tell me it's the name of like

Mari: an actual drink

P: okay. Okay, it is time for the Rooster Juice story.

Clo: I fucking love the RJ story

Maddin: story time!

P: Okay, Rooster Juice story.

Mari: ROOSTER JUICE

Tai: STORY TIME

Doc: /is interested

Mari: STORY TIEM WITH P

Tai: /sits on Mari and listens

Mari: 83 <3

Shei: /curls up by mari and big siiiis

Clo: chat goes quiet in anticipation

Mari: /cuddles Tai and Shei

P: So when I was younger I lived in the fucking sticks. Like, I mean, I lived in the middle of Goddamn nowhere. And there was this farm down the highway that I would often bike to, because the people that lived there paid me like a dollar to do things like open the sheep gate or collect the chicken eggs.

P: So one day the rooster is out of the cage and he is walking. He is walking and he is inspecting his territory.

P: ... what the fuck is this.

P: what the FUCK is this.

P: It is a GIANT FUCKOFF ROOSTER in HIS territory.

P: You probably would recognize this rooster if you saw it. It is a red VW bug.

P: So this rooster is not backing down. He has his HENS in that coop and he means to fuck every single one of this. This intruder will never sex up his ladies.

P: So he puffs himself up and crows. He fans out his feathers. He pecks the ground. He scratches the ground and shows his spurrs.

P: This is the biggest rival rooster he's ever seen. He gets so outraged that over the course of an hour this exhausted, enraged bird

P: goes up and pecks the tyres.

P: So the farmer goes and honks the horn and the rooster FREAKS OUT and shits itself. But not to be defeated, t comes out and challenges this rival to a fight.

P: the car does not respond, because it is a fucking car.

P: So over the course of the afternoon the rooster gets closer and closer, and eventually...

P: he mounts the car.

P: He mounts and FUCKS the car.

Froggy: ...HOW DOES A ROOSTER EVEN DO THAT

Tai: ...h-how

Maddin: /popcorn

Mari: /popcorn

Doc: wat

P: Crowing and screaming his triumph. He climbs on the back hood of the VW bug and humps away, he grinds, he scratches and moans and squeals. It was really pornographic.

Mari: fjkdsl;ajfksa;j

P: This goes on until the farmer honks the horn again. The rooster

P: PECKS this defeated male.

P: Re-establishes his dominance with another good, hard fuck.

P: And then, exhausted, goes back to his ladies.

Tai: So the rooster is Chase Stein.

Clo: JKGHKASDGHA

P: ... and that is the rooster juice story.

Mari: FJKDSLAFJDSKALFJASCLO

Maddin: lol

Mari: wait that was...Tai

Doc: ....THE END

Mari: wh-whfkdsl;ajfa

Mari: *DIES*

Mari: Meth: *LAWL*

Clo: that is my favourite fucking story

Tai: /could not help herself sorry

Doc: i saw a red vw bug in town a few weeks ago. i thought it was hella tight too.

Mari: I will never look at red vw bugs the same

Mari: EVER AGAIN

Tai: ....Doc, y-your wording

Maddin: was it a new bug or an old bug?

P: Old.

Doc: what about it

Shei: gdlkgjdfg /dead

Mari: ...hella tight

Clo: /laughing at Doc's wording

Tai: "I thought it was hella tight too."

Mari: Doc is now a rooster.

Clo: it's like you tested that theory out

Doc: yeah what about it 8D

Shei: oh my god i love this chat

Mari: You are not doc

Mari: you are Rooster.

Maddin: kabuster

Mari: that is your failboat name

Doc: i have been here

Tai: ROOSTER

Doc: like four hours

Mari: ROOSTER.

Tai: DOC ROOSTER

Tai: DOC COCK

Mari: no just Rooster.

Mari: oh god

Doc: 8U

Clo: DOC COCK

Clo: THERE WE HAVE IT

Mari: oh god

P: So yeah, this rooster experienced the best lay of his life. He defeated in bloody combat, a rooster a hundred times larger than him, and he got laid and then he sexed up all his ladies. It was the best day ever, the end.

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