|This person is no longer on the boat. But they do have a rather lovely page, don't you think?|
So, there's this alleyway that I use when I go to work and there's always dog poo about halfway up the alley. Unfortunately I never notice it until I come home from work. The problem here is that I might step in it every morning and not know. Using this logic, is it safe to say that if you step in poo and don't notice, then it has no smell?
Have you ever thought about stuff like the end of the universe. I don't mean in a destruction kind of way, more like...start to finish, ya know? It's supposed to be infinite or something like that. Think about it...no ending. Really, just take a few minutes and try to compute that. You're going....still going....just keep going....further still...I mean, at some point you're mind is just like 'FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF ENOUGH OF THIS SHIZ!' Seriously though...it hurts the brain a little, but not as much as trying to understand a moron.
So....I hate doctors. I didn't used to hate them, but a few years ago I had something happen to me that opened my eyes to those merciless scumbags! Me and three friends (2 girls, 1 guy) went to the local resturaunt. We sat in a very intergrated manor in our booth. I had an aisle seat, one female was to my right, the male was diagonal from me, and the other female was across from me. We socialise as usual, things go about smoothly. Then...I take a quarter, I stick out my tongue, and I place the quarter on my tongue. Female to my right looks over at me and says, 'don't do that, you'll swallow it.' I look across to the other female and she laughs. Now, her and I have this mental issue where if one of us laughs, the other one laughs. SO...I begin laughing and the next thing you know, *gulp*.
Everyone stopped laughing and I guess it was the look of my 'OSHI-' face that froze us all. After that elongated moment of silence the phrase 'you didn't-' popped out to which I simply nodded. I then excused myself to the bathroom to try and...recover...the coin. However nothing came out. It was then decided that I would retire for the night and go to the hospital in the morning. This is where I come to my reason for this story. Doctors have this game that they play. It's a game they play when things are slow. It starts off like this....
Doctor: *enters the room with the chart. He looks at the chart, then looks at me. Looks at the chart, then looks at me.* "Now...how did you manage to swallow a quarter?"
Xav: *sigh* "Well...I was sitting there, talking to my friends. I put a quarter on my tongue and I laughed. I swallowed it."
Doctor: *raise eyebrow* "You weren't drinking?"
Xav: *blink* "No..."
Doctor: *blink* "You were sober?"
Doctor: *nods and walks away*
And here's what happens. That doctor goes back to the break room and goes 'Hey you gotta check out the D-bag in room 109. He swallowed a quarter and he wasn't even drunk!' Now...how do I know this, you may ask? Well, about every 20 minutes a different doctor would show up, look at the charts, and look at me. Look at the charts, look at me. Look at the charts, look at me. Then they would try and give their best guess as to what happened before asking me for the story. After a few hours of this, I finally go get my X-rays and....THERE WAS NO QUARTER IN ME! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Xavot - He's fun, I promise.